Since retirement, I have had time to become a gardening fanatic. The flowers in the pots, and the seeds in the ground have given me a sense of purpose that almost replaces keeping my toddlers alive and well. Those two kids were forever challenging me with their unpredictable behavior and adventurous spirits; quite similar to the weeds in my garden. Nurturing and feeding to support growth and development. Similar principles used to achieve the same outcome.

I recall tracking the children's development with pictures and notations in their baby books. First word, first tooth, first use of the potty. One of my children went right from the diaper to the grassy area outdoors, same as my starter seedlings and the dog. (Our son still mentally calculates the distance between the nearest bathroom and the back yard.) I also recall tracking their schedules on my desk calendar. 5 years to kindergarten, 12 years until they can be left home alone for a grocery store run, 18 years until high school graduation, 22-23 years to college graduation and most importantly, the large red circled happy face on the day they left for summer camp; (two weeks of professional baby sitting...no guilt, they wanted to be there.) I now track the growth of my plants on a similar calendar; 12 days to germination, 18days - thin the rows, 57 days to maturity, start harvesting....

Our youngest child was just recently harvested. Yup, she graduated from college and will soon be on her own; paying her way, buying her own Clinique, housing her own mess. What a journey it has been raising and educating 4 children..eighteen years of used cars, college tuition and spring breaks, yikes!! What will I do with all the extra time and money? Buy more plants and get another dog...

Unexpected Mother's Day Gift

My Mother's Day gifts this year were the typical lovely fare; flowers, cards. books. etc. My Mother's Day experience, however, was something all together unexpected and delivered a dose of extreme gratitude as well as renewed faith in the infinite kindness and concern of my fellow man.

Husband Dan realized we were running short of the infamous cocktail and beer mixer, Clamato juice, and needed to make a quick run to the grocery store before the rest of our Mother's Day guests arrived. Borrowing our son John's Jeep that was sitting in the driveway blocking his way, he took off for the store. On his way back to our home, sitting at a stop light, the preciousness of life and limb took on a whole new meaning.

Speeding up the I94 exit ramp trying to make the light, came a large pickup. Upon executing the left turn, the driver lost control, came up on the median separating the lanes, and crashed into the Jeep sitting at the stop light. The pickup driver then jammed the truck in reverse, and sped off in the direction of another interstate exit ramp, which he took, again at a high rate of speed. Dan says the last thing he remembers was a large pickup grill coming at him. Now comes the best part of the story....wondering how there could be one??

The car in front of Dan immediately called the police after finding that Dan was OK. The car behind him containing a woman and two female teens, asked if he saw a license plate. All Dan could remember was Wyoming. The woman quickly turned around and went after the pickup. The man with the cell phone stayed on the phone with police until they arrived and stuck around to give a detailed statement. The lady in the chase car returned to say she had regretfully lost the pickup, and then departed from the accident scene. Just as the policeman was explaining to Dan that it was very unlikely they would apprehend the suspect, he received a call telling him the pickup had been found in a local hotel parking lot. Amazing : The lady who initially followed the pickup did not give up! She backtracked the route and exited where she thought he may have escaped. SHE WAS THE PERSON WHO TRACKED DOWN THE PICKUP, and then notified the police.

Dan had not taken his cell phone, so he finally called me from the police car to tell me what had happened. I fearfully suspected something had gone wrong, as he had already been gone for 40 minutes for a 15 minute errand. Soon, he limped the broken Jeep home, but thankfully, he was fine.

John's Jeep is 15 years old. He has had it for 8 years and never put a scratch on it. The odometer reads 157,000 miles. Due to its advanced age and mileage, we only carry liability insurance. The hit and run driver may or may not have insurance to cover the Jeep. The slime took off before he even knew if someone was hurt, so I doubt he would be responsible enough to carry insurance. John realizes it may be the RIP moment for his dependable car....and he can't afford another right now.

The silver lining you ask??

• Two citizens went out of their way to be helpful and took time away from their families on Mother's Day to get involved. They went the extra mile, literally, for someone they didn't know and would probably never see again, and for absolutely no personal gain.
• My husband and the father of four was uninjured and made it home in time for Mother's Day dinner.
• My faith in the goodness of others is once again restored...except for that d___pickup driver.

Stay tuned for the "rest of the story".

The Truth about Menostop

As middle age began creeping up, I started feeling sort of odd. Flaming internal heat would wake me up in the night and it would take a minute to realize the heat was coming from my own body. (Night Sweats) This internal inferno must be the reason everything is suddenly DRY... I also felt a bit foggy some days when trying to recall what I was supposed to be doing, or worse yet, where I was going. (Middle-age ADD) I knew what was happening, and I wasn't ready to give up my youth. My Dr. gave me low dose birth control pills to hold off the symptoms for a few years, but alas, all good things must come to an end.

There are dozens of articles everywhere about the signs, symptoms and remedies for this period of a woman's life, but no one dares publish or talk about the "rest of the story". There would be a massive group suicide of women over 50 if everyone knew the REAL TRUTH. Oh sure, the medical researchers tell us to avoid caffeine, alcohol, spicy foods, blah, blah, blah that may trigger these miserable symptoms. OK, shoot me now, I'm not giving up Starbucks or my cosmos.

Soooo, as a service to the world of women over 45, I have developed a menu of Do's and Don'ts, which will address some of the less published travesties of middle age.

• Buy stock in Carmex. (No, but it is good for your endlessly parched lips.)
• Start dieting now. (You will only be able to injest 600 calories per day for the rest of your life, so get used to it.)
• Find a reputable salon to do weekly waxes and lasar hair removal. (Mom, are you going to do anything about that mustache?)
• Drink only lactose-free milk. (Grammy, did you toot?)
• Buy "big game hunter" earplugs. (Any interruption of sleep may prove fatal for those around you.)
• Save money; turn off the heat and buy an industrial strength fan for your bedroom and bath. (Watching your makeup run off your chin and pushing your sweaty bangs off your forehead is not good for our already fragile moods.)
• Invest in a second ice machine. (Ice water is the new nectar of the gods.)
• You can no longer stand in lines or take guff from anyone. (Involuntary manslaughter still carries a hefty penalty.)

OK..nuff said.

Kathy Talk

There are hundreds of topics people could blog about, but I think I will avoid politics. There are certainly millions of others who have beaten this topic to death over the past year or so, and my opinions would not be appreciated by anyone. The political diversity that I experience in just my own family (and in-laws) is astounding and sometimes a bit scary. I think sticking to subjects I have become a self-appointed "expert" on might be more fun for me and any readers I might pick up. I don't have any PhD's on health/wellness, child psychology or human behavior, but I have given myself an honorary doctorate in common sense. (DCS) I will talk about such things as, The rest of the story on Menopause, Judgemental vs Opinionated, The Baggage on our Backs, Common Sense vs Logic, Fatherhood vs Motherhood, People who take themselves too seriously (and others who don't), and the Underachievers among us. Feel free to comment anytime. I'm over 50, so I don't much care what people think anymore or who likes me or doesn't. They say there is a new-found freedom in being this age. You're comfortable with yourself. (No therapy or plastic surgery is going to change who I am). You are not worried about getting a date. (I was alway mis-trustful of anyone who wanted to date me anyway; ..so.. what do they want??) Making a million new friends or keeping a million old ones is not always a good use of one's time...so be it. Good friends are hard to come by, so I think I'll just be grateful for the ones I have. Stay tuned!

The Creation of the Blog

I've always loved to write and recognize that I often have opinions on almost everything, (which often embarrass my children). Some of my thoughts are more in the form of questions; "How did this person ever get this job, when it's clear that they should really being doing something that doesn't place them in a position where they actually have to deal with REAL PEOPLE?". The perfect position for them would be mowing lawns at the cemetery. Other opinions may have to do with giving advice to those who seldom have a clue what they are doing;" No, it wouldn't be normal for your two-year-old to be able to prepare Sunday Brunch for his hung-over parents." Other opinions might be considered hypothetical ponderings; "Why would any child of mine think it was OK not to clean their bathtub for two years?" Yes, the bite of sarcasm often plays a role in those thoughts and ponderings. Things I see so clearly and others simply do not. So instead of shooting my mouth off, I will simply write about these concerns I have, therefore offending no one, ... or everyone. It's not my fault that so many folks in this world operate on only 2 cylinders most of the time...(Normal would be a minimum of 6.)