Old Friends

A Greek philosopher once said, "There are only two people who can tell you the truth about yourself - an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly."

Friends truly do come and go. Differences in lifestyle, incompatible interests or hobbies, distance or, just plain neglect. I have been fortunate to experience all types of friendships during different periods of my life. Some faded away with job changes or kids growing up and out. Some ran their course and dissolved over a minor dispute. People may change and you find less in common with their "changes". For a person my age, high school friends are a lifetime ago.

Nearly 45 years ago I moved from a very small town in ND to the biggest city in ND; Fargo. The first day of school was quickly approaching and even this bold, small town tom-boy was terrified. What would I wear? Who would talk to me? I hadn't had time to make any friends before embarking on my journey to Agassiz Junior High, a school that had more people in the 8th grade than the whole population of Sharon, ND. Everyone knows that Jr. High is the toughest social circle anyone will ever penetrate, and I was petrified.

I, of course wore the wrong clothes that first day and was miserable. Mostly, however, because I had a new "Fall" outfit and it was 85 degrees that day. Knee socks and a Bobby Brooks sweater set just didn't cut it. No one else was wearing this style either, which increased my misery. A few people said "hi" that first day, but I was clearly an outsider as I observed old friends passing notes in the hallway and lunching together. As I took note of the fashions and the phrases that were thrown around, I quickly realized that I would need to "school" myself away from small town lingo and style and make the jump into being a hip teen in FARGO. Little did I know that 1967 would be the year of making friends I would have 45 years later.

There were several bumps along the road. One or two girls were initially friendly, but I later learned that one was a bit shaky due to certain moral boundaries being challenged and another was a lesbian looking for a "girlfriend". Clearly connecting with girls in the 8th grade who were somewhat like me was to be one of life's greater challenges.

Soon I settled into junior high life and my new friends led to more new friends. By the end of the school year, I had found a comfort zone with a fun group of girls who loved life and all it offered. We spent the summer before our 9th grade year riding the bus to downtown Fargo on Saturdays for shopping and taking pictures in the photo booth at Woolworth's, riding bikes, playing tennis at Island Park and swimming wherever we could find a pool. By the time we were freshman at South High that fall, a solid group had been formed and we were meeting at least monthly for a potluck at our various homes. There were sleepovers, car pools, boyfriend swapping and burned up telephone lines. An older brother of one of the group dubbed us the "Mafia". The Mafia always knew what was going on and stuck together to the death....

This all took place between 1967 and 1972, the year we graduated from high school. I could write a book on the antics, pranks, sorrows and successes of the Mafia, but better still, 40 plus years later, we still get together and reminisce about old friends, past experiences and the disappontment or sorrow some have experienced. The love, joy, and pain is felt by all as if we had some biological link to one another. Tears are sometimes shared. Well deserved praise and honest assessments are exchanged. We still tease each other about our unique idiosyncrasies, and laugh till we choke when embarrassing analogies are vocalized. We all fall back into the roles we once were known for and pretend, just for a few days, that we are 17 again and don't have a care in the world.

There are 10 girls who still gather for every Mafia reunion. The gatherings began when we started to celebrate big "decade birthdays". Our 40th BD year was in Minneapolis. We were all still babes and painted the town!! Our 50th was spent on a lake in Wilmar, MN; a calmer more reflective gathering. It was also soberly suggested that we meet more often, as word had spread we were starting to lose friends and classmates. The 55th was celebrated in Bismarck. Not everyone could make it and some had to leave early, but we still shared the laughs and joy of being together. This was the year we decided to meet at least every other year...after all, we weren't getting any younger.

This past week, the Mafia once again gathered at one of our favorite old stomping grounds; Lake Melissa/Sally. Most of us had spent some of our youth at the lakes. Summers were spent in old, un-airconditioned cabins whiling away the days on the lake or hanging with friends. This weekend would be like old times...hot...lakey...friends...party. To say this was merely fun, would be a severe understatement. It was the highlight of my summer! Next year is our 40th class reunion, and the year after that, we are heading to Denver.

Statistically speaking, we have defied the national averages in some areas. These 10 fine women have experienced a total of 17 marriages, so far; we always were picky b-----s, and everyone needs practice:) We have 27 children (bio & step), and just under 20 grandchildren, (so far). These numbers are likely to change annually. Only one of the ten still lives in Fargo, 3 more in other parts of ND, one in Montana, 3 in MN, one in Colorado, and one in CA. Everyone has had a successful career life and three of us are now retired, at least as of today. The vast majority are conservatives and none of us are what you would consider "politically active". I believe that everyone is a Christian and many remain active in a church. Are we typical of the baby boomers of the 60's and 70's? Without a doubt. We think about our bucket lists, retirement accounts and grandbabies. We are no longer the "now" generation, but we are definately part of the "been there and done that era".

We are truly friends that would still do anything for one another, but more importantly be present as needed. The Mafia is a strong inner core that has branched in many directions, but we are all still near and dear to our roots. Love you all.....until next time, God speed.